Wednesday, March 3, 2010


I am sorry I am a few days late on this. Do you ever feel like your life is spinning out of control and you just cant catch your breath. Okay last week me and Mr. Man got into it in a big way and I realized I need a break or I just need this to be over I don't know. I have to go for surgery and I just don't want to have to ask him to be there and he tells me he cant. I love him with all I have but I never feel like that is good enough. Is it possible to love someone to much? I have been doing this for 12 long years and through it all I just don't feel like he loves me like I love him. It's like he wants me to be his best friend but he don't want me more than that. It hurts to much to be so close and so alone and so far away at the same time. I keep thinking he will call or knock on the door. I cry all the time when I think about him. Its almost like part of me died. I feel empty with out him. Almost like I am broken. I wish I had more to say but for now I will leave it at that .